An InuYasha Story
by RoyMustangsBabe
Summary: A story describing the typical day with the InuYasha group. Don't read if you're an obsessed fan of the show or would be very angry if your favorite character is made fun of. [OneShot]


**Disclaimer**: _I don't own InuYasha. Yeah. We all know._

**WARNING! If you love InuYasha to the point of no return, this story is not for you. It does make fun of it. InuYasha isn't that bad of a show, but this is just poking some fun at it. If you're obsessed with characters, this story pokes fun at most of them. Some worse then others. **

* * *

**An InuYasha Story**

**By RoyMustangsBabe**

"InuYasha, I sense a Shikon Jewel shard in those dark, jagged, deadly mountains that only insanse people would enter!" InuYasha sniffed with his nose in the air. He just wanted some ramen. Kagome got on his nerves when it came to that stupid jewel.

"Well, Let's go." Miroku said. He just wanted to get this journey over with for some alone time with Sango.

"The mountain's too big for all four of us to go together. Let's split up like we always do and end up most likley getting attacked by two demons that seem impossible to beat until we find a loop-hole in their abilities!" Kagome stated. Kagome is well known as Miss Obvious.

"Yeah, and let's hope that Kikyou won't show up and try to take InuYasha into the underworld for supposedly betraying her." Sango said. They heard a rustle in the bushes. Kikyou, that clay nuisance got out.

"Oh no, Kikyou! That was unexpected!" Sango said. Kikyou walked to InuYasha.

"InuYasha, come with me to the underworld." Kikyou said. Kagome huffed. This was getting repetitive.

"Kikyou. You've asked me a million times. What makes this one different?" Kikyou sighed.

"Please? They have ramen there..." Kikyou said, attempting to entice him.

"That is tempting, but why do that when I have a wench here perfectly content making it for me? And let me mention, this wench isn't a cold, clay, corpse." Kagome twitched.

"Instead of always letting her go alive, can we slay her or something?" Sango asked. InuYasha shook his head.

"Nah, let's let her live so she can appear and ruin something else." They nodded and walked away. Kikyou grumbled and crawled back into her bush. They were closer to the mountain, which of course had it's regular demon accessories - Colored fog, sharp pointy objects jutting out everywhere, and a wierd glow.

"Time to split up. Look at this conveinently placed hat on the ground. We can use it to draw names and see our groups when we split!" Said Kagome, the totally unique idea provider. She magically found paper and put all the names in it. Miroku drew first.

"Oh, look, Sango. What's new?" Yes, Sango was pretty, but if he groped Kagome, he wouldn't get slapped as hard. Kagome drew next.

"Shippou? I didn't even put his name in there, but alright." InuYasha grinned.

"That means you're with me Kagome!"

"Sorry Kagome." Sango said. Kagome laughed, and smiled.

"Sango, before this long journey commenses, may I ask you to..."

"Bear your children? No." Miroku undid the beadings on his hand, and everyone grabbed a hold of something. This was slightly routine nowadays.

"WIND TUNNEL!" He unleashed the black hole, and everyone waited until he put the beads and cloth back over it. Things died down, and everyone released the object they held onto.

"Miroku, we told you, 'Wind Tunnel' does not solve all your problems." He scoffed and the groups then split up in two different ways around the mountain. Sango && Miroku walked, while Kagome and Shippou rode on InuYasha's back. This particular mountain was very steep, so within minutes, both teams took a rest.

"Do you know how many shards there are?"

"Negative seven."

"But that isn't possible."

"You're being introduced with sarcasm, Miss Obvious."

"Oh." Shippou sat there, being as annoying as possible.

"Hey InuYasha, want a fleaaa collarrrrr?" Said the fox in his high, squeaky voice. InuYasha's ears moved.

"Shut up Shippou." Haha, only a fool would think Shippou would surrender.

"How about a dogggyyy biscuitttt?" InuYasha snapped like he should of a long time ago.

"Shippou, you know what I thought of last night?" InuYasha smirked. He knew within minutes, if he didn't get his hands on Shippou, the red-headed creep would be crying to Kagome

"You were thinking how nice it would be to chew on a bone?"

"No, better. First, you were thrown into a fire, then, to cool you off, I dipped you in salt water, but that was a mistake, because the Sodium Chloride started to seep into your wounds..."

"THAT'S ENOUGH INUYASHA!" Kagome was hugging the terrified creature.

"Feh..."

:**Meanwhile, with Miroku && Sango**:

"WIND TUNNEL!"

"MIROKU, IT WAS A POOR BIRD!"

"Aha, I bet that's the last time it scares me again." Miroku had his accomplished look plastered to his face. He loved his hands. Not only did he get the wonders of the wind tunnel, he also got to use them for the good of groping Sango.

:**Err..Back with InuYasha and Kagome Because Miroku's a Perv**:

"Come on Kagome, you weak human."

"Can't we rest?"

"YOU'RE RIDING ON MY BACK! YOU DON'T NEED TOO!" They were flying through the air. Sometimes InuYasha wondered if Kagome was lazy or just somehow provoked to annoy him. Just then, he saw a white figure enter the path. Of course, at the best of times, it was Sesshomaru.

"Sesshomaru, what are you doing here?" Kagome looked at his fluffy boa. Oh the temptation...she wanted to pet it...and lay on it...and wear it...and everything else. She wanted that boa.

"To get the Shikon Jewel, my stupid brother." InuYasha growled.

"Why in the hell do you want the Jewel?" Kagome leaned over and whispered in InuYasha's ear.

_'Get me...the boa...NOW.'_

"Wait a minute, wench!" He turned back to Sesshomaru.

"I want the Jewel simply so you can't have it." InuYasha rolled his eyes.

"That's not very brother-like."

"It's not my fault Daddy never loved me!" Haha, Sesshomaru was a sissy.

"Listen, Sesshomaru, I'll comfort you and all that stuff if you give me your boa." At least Kagome would get off his back.

"Why would you want it? It's last season." InuYasha just did the usual "Feh." Kagome's eyes sparkled.

"Please, Sesshomaru!" Sesshomaru sighed, and handed it over. Kagome jumped as the giddy schoolgirl she is.

"A boa! A boa!" (Once again, Kagome is her obvious self.)

"Well, I'm off now. I'm going to beat Jaken with some blunt object because of the color of his skin." Kagome gasped.

"That's discrimination!"

:**Back With Miroku && Sango**:

"WIND TUNNEL!"

"AH! Kirara!"

:**Haha**:

"Well, we've reached the top of the mountain." said Kagome.

"Yes, I've come to realize that." Shippou slept in the boa that laid next to Kagome.

"Looks like there's no demon."

"I've realized that too." InuYasha smelled the air. He smelled something...sweet...and flowery. He looked at the wasteland and immediately knew the scent came from a demon.

"Why, hello, travelers." A demon, whom was at a time invisible ascended from the air. They both looked at the demon sideways. It was dressed in a pink outfit, but you could clearly see there were manly features in the face (like the stub of a beard).

"It looks like a girl." InuYasha could only mutter a "No Duh" to Captain Obvious.

"I'm supposing you're looking for this?" The demon dug in it's top and pulled out (Who knows what was holding it) a shard of the Shikon Jewel. It tossed it in the air and laughed, catching it again. Then the demon was distracted. It seemed to be staring at...the boa.

"If you give me that boa, I will in return give you the shard of the jewel." Kagome went bug-eyed.

"NO WAY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

"Kagome, it's just a boa."

"I don't care InuYasha! It's not just a boa - It's my boa!" The demon sighed. It seemed very disappointed in the loss of this boa. But it soon regained it's happy smile.

"Fine, then the battle is on!"

:**Back with Sango and Miroku at the least conveinent time**:

"Sango, please for give me!"

"You...sucked...up...Kirara...IN A WIND TUNNEL!"

"Yes, but we still have each other. The loss of this friend will be taken into account of our lives, but I'm sure Kirara, while spinning in the dark, black abyss was hoping we'll still be happy."

"Nice try."

"I'm sure Kirara's death would be avenged by bearing my children."

"I don't think so, Miroku." Rats. He did need to get that move under control. Stupid kitty cat, ruining his relationship.

:**Yeah...You get the Drill**:

"IRON REAVER!" The demon dodged it, as he did every move so far. How does he keep doing that?

"Haha, silly boy, you'll never get me."

"InuYasha, how about you stop announcing every move you do?" Oh wait. The wench had a point. It took him a lot of stength to hold back the words, "Wind Scar," but soon, the demon was gone, and everyone was safe. The Shikon Jewel was in their possession, and they started back down the mountain, where they met two sad looking friends.

"Miroku, Sango, what's wrong?" Kagome asked, covered in her fluffy boa.

"I no longer have a pet. Thanks to Miroku over here."

"I'm sorry!" The friends laughed and had a togetherness moment(Excluding Sango who was still crying). They all set up camp, and prepared for the next day which, like everday, would end up like this.

* * *

**Ha, so this idea all started last night while I was watching, and I just started, "Wouldn't it be funny if.." etc. I'm sorry to everyone I offended. But I fairly warned you so I have no reason for mean comments...Insert Nervous Smile Here**

**Anyways, I don't hate InuYasha or anything, I just thought this would be funny.**


End file.
